https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/The Continental Reporter is a satirical news site. Deadpan reports, columns, and man-on-the-street panels about a nation that cannot agree on the thermostat. All names, quotes, institutions, and events are fictional.en-us© 2026 The Continental Reporter. The Continental Reporter is a work of satire. Names, quotes, institutions, and events are fictional.Thu, 08 Oct 2026 14:00:00 -0400https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/what-should-the-president-be-awarded-next/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/what-should-the-president-be-awarded-next/Thu, 08 Oct 2026 14:00:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesWith the Nobel Peace Prize to be announced Friday, the Reporter asked residents which honor the President should receive next.https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/what-should-the-merged-movie-studio-make-first/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/what-should-the-merged-movie-studio-make-first/Thu, 08 Oct 2026 12:30:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesAfter Paramount completed its $110 billion acquisition of Warner Bros. Discovery this week, the Reporter asked residents what the combined studio should make first.https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/is-the-thermostat-getting-political/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/is-the-thermostat-getting-political/Tue, 06 Oct 2026 12:00:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesAs households nationwide report tension over a single dial, the Reporter asked residents whether the thermostat has become political.https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/what-is-the-correct-number-of-pillows/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/what-is-the-correct-number-of-pillows/Fri, 02 Oct 2026 12:00:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesThe Reporter asked residents how many pillows a bed should have, and what the others are for.https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/who-is-the-thermostat-for/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/who-is-the-thermostat-for/Wed, 09 Sep 2026 12:00:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesAs households begin the yearly changeover from air conditioning to heat, the Reporter asked residents whom the thermostat is actually for.https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/should-the-moon-have-a-flag/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/should-the-moon-have-a-flag/Mon, 20 Jul 2026 12:00:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesOn the 57th anniversary of the first moon landing, the Reporter asked residents whether the moon should have a flag, and whom the flag is meant for.https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/is-a-hot-dog-a-sandwich/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/is-a-hot-dog-a-sandwich/Thu, 02 Jul 2026 12:00:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesAhead of the Fourth of July weekend, the Reporter asked residents whether a hot dog is a sandwich, and whether anyone has reached out to them regarding their position.https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/what-would-you-give-the-president-for-his-birthday/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/what-would-you-give-the-president-for-his-birthday/Fri, 12 Jun 2026 12:00:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesWith fights scheduled on the White House South Lawn for Sunday, the Reporter asked residents what they plan to give the President for his birthday.https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/can-anyone-explain-offside/https://thecontinentalreporter.com/voices/can-anyone-explain-offside/Thu, 11 Jun 2026 12:00:00 -0400Continental Press ServiceVoicesWith the 48-team World Cup opening Thursday in Mexico City and 104 matches set for 16 cities in three countries, the Reporter asked residents to explain the offside rule.