Are You Awake?

“I’ve been awake since 4 a.m., telling my neighbor to wake up. He is, by my count, 11 percent more awake, and I take the credit.”

“I’m the most awake person I know. I’ve never once been told otherwise, because I stay up and make sure nobody tells me.”

“I’m awake, but I’m against a few things about being awake, mainly the part where other people say it first.”

“I was awake at 3, 4, and 5 a.m. I’m told that’s called insomnia, but I call it paying attention.”

“Not really. I’m awake enough to drive and not awake enough to have an opinion, which my uncle says is the healthiest way.”