Terms of Use
The terms under which this website is offered to the reader, who has accepted them by reading this sentence.
1. Nature of the content
All content on this website is satirical fiction. See the Satire Notice. By using this website you acknowledge that no content published here is a factual report, a statement by any real person or organization, or advice of any kind.
2. No reliance
You agree not to rely on any content on this website for any decision, including decisions about health, safety, money, law, travel, voting, or the setting of a household thermostat.
3. Intellectual property
Text and design on this website are © The Continental Reporter. You may quote brief excerpts with attribution and a link to the original page. You may share links freely.
4. Privacy
This website does not set cookies, run analytics, load third-party scripts, or collect personal information. Your web host may keep standard server logs.
5. No warranty
This website is provided as is, without warranty of any kind, including any warranty that its content is accurate, which it is not, deliberately.
6. Changes
These terms may be revised at any time. Revisions take effect when published on this page.
Last updated Oct. 8, 2026.