What the Founders Would Have Said About Tariffs on Tea, and Why I Have Thrown Mine in the Harbor
Our heritage is unambiguous on the question of taxing imported tea. I have followed it to the water’s edge, and then somewhat past it.
The Founders
What the Founders Would Have Said About Ranch Dressing, and Why They Would Be Right
Our heritage is clear on the matter of condiments, provided one follows it all the way to the end, which I have.
What the Founders Would Have Said About the Group Chat, and Why I Now Reply by Pony
The Committees of Correspondence were the nation’s first group chat. I have restored their customs in full, and my family has removed me from ours three times.
What the Founders Would Have Said About the President’s Face on a Coin, and Why I Now See It on Every Coin I Own
Our heritage settled the question of presidential portraits on money in 1792. I have followed the settlement to its conclusion, which is in my coin jar, and also in my mirror.
What the Founders Would Have Said About Pickleball, and Why I Now Play It Only in My Kitchen
Our heritage has a great deal to teach us about a paddle sport invented in 1965. I have learned all of it, and the park district has asked me to leave.
Real Americans Drive Trucks. I Do Not Drive. Allow Me to Explain.
The Founders were clear about the pickup truck, as they were about most things they never saw. I have followed them into my driveway, and I intend to remain there.