Reporting the Nation to Itself Since Whenever
Ed Pasko has attended 211 consecutive village budget hearings to oppose ’every wasted dollar,’ and said the estimated $3.4 million cost of a single presidential weekend in Florida ‘pays for itself in morale.’
Members said the shortfall reported Thursday is ‘a completely different kind of $2 trillion,’ because this time it is being spent by people who understand money.
Dwight Ankeny, 62, says the extra $1,140 he paid for a riding mower was ‘China’s money,’ and that he added a gratuity because ’they’ve been very good about it.’
Officials say the structure will be substantially finished by November, at which point the executive mansion will be relocated to a small table near the dance floor.
Ahead of Friday’s Peace Prize announcement, an advocacy group released an updated count of conflicts resolved, several of which ended before the President was born and one of which had not yet started.
With four prizes announced and two remaining, Gary Tunstall, 61, said he is now focusing his hopes on economics, citing ’extremely strong views on the price of a sandwich.'
In 19 years of calling the nation’s most-quoted expert, I have never once found him anywhere else. Last week, I found out why.
The $105.6 billion August gap, the widest since before the tariffs took effect, is being described by grateful economists as ‘a deficit of losing.’
The bureau’s first full count of patriotic apparel found 3.4 shirts for every flag, a ratio officials described as still climbing.
With Sol, Luna, Astra, and Argon now taken, the Continental Nomenclature Office estimates the industry has 11.4 months of usable nouns remaining.
Anger about the word rose 41.2 percent since spring, researchers found, while understanding of it held steady at roughly none.
Following last week’s early-morning workout with 600 troops, the department says it has eliminated noon, the afternoon, and ‘whatever 3 p.m. thinks it is,’ and that the sun has been notified.
The cereal is next to the motor oil. The bread is where the cereal was. That is fine. Everything is fine.
After 14 months, 212 forum posts, and a 600-page binder, Randall Kemper concluded that County Road J was resurfaced by the county.
The season, which began at 8:06 p.m. Eastern time Tuesday, arrived 28 days after the Pumpkin Spice Latte and has asked to speak with whoever is in charge of the calendar.
I spent three hours and 12 minutes on hold about a dishwasher, listening to a 14-second flute and a woman who insists she values me. I kept count, calmly.
With excavation announced to begin within two weeks, a supporters’ group has published a list of 1,400 victories visitors may receive, including ’the argument from Thanksgiving’ and a 1994 high school track meet.
The report, 39 months in preparation, consists of a two-page executive summary, 397 pages of appendices, and one page of findings that reads, in full, ‘Fine, mostly.’
The Roman Space Telescope can see roughly 100 times as much sky at once as Hubble’s infrared camera, and about 1 billion galaxies have asked for a few more minutes.
The figure rose 106 percent from a year earlier and, by the Reporter’s measurement, another 0.41 percent during the time it took to read it aloud.