Diplomats Agree on Nothing, Request Additional Time to Disagree
Five days of talks among 14 delegations produced a 42-page communiqué consisting entirely of bracketed text, and a 90-day extension that is itself in brackets.
Diplomacy
UN General Debate Speakers Exceed 15-Minute Limit by Combined 11 Years in First 3 Days
The overruns, measured by a podium light that delegates have not looked at since 1960, have moved the session’s projected closing date to March 2038.
Neighboring Country Reportedly Annoyed We Keep Calling It ‘Neighboring Country’
A 14-page diplomatic note, delivered at a reception where the coffee was described as ’tepid but sincere,’ asks that the country be referred to by its name, which the note spells out three times.
Trade Talks Collapse Over Disagreement About What a Trade Is
Nine days of negotiations among 11 delegations ended without a definition of ’trade,’ after one delegation offered its deputy finance minister and a second-round pick.
Continental Delegation Walks Out of Summit After Realizing It Was Not Invited
The 14-member delegation had attended three days of the Varenne Forum on Regional Cooperation, co-sponsored two working papers, and been served 211 cups of coffee before checking the guest list.