Diplomats Agree on Nothing, Request Additional Time to Disagree
Five days of talks among 14 delegations produced a 42-page communiqué consisting entirely of bracketed text, and a 90-day extension that is itself in brackets.
Department of Agricultural Common Sense
Congress Funds Government 4 Weeks Early, Will Stage Historical Reenactment of Deadline on Sept. 30
With the stopgap signed into law Sept. 2, lawmakers have 28 days with nothing to be up against and have begun rehearsing, in period dress, the all-night session they no longer need.
Neighboring Country Reportedly Annoyed We Keep Calling It ‘Neighboring Country’
A 14-page diplomatic note, delivered at a reception where the coffee was described as ’tepid but sincere,’ asks that the country be referred to by its name, which the note spells out three times.
The Restaurant Asked Me to Scan the Menu. I Would Like a Menu.
Where the menu used to be, there was a small black-and-white square. I am told the square is the menu. I ordered the third thing, and I am handling this well.
Trade Talks Collapse Over Disagreement About What a Trade Is
Nine days of negotiations among 11 delegations ended without a definition of ’trade,’ after one delegation offered its deputy finance minister and a second-round pick.
Continental Delegation Walks Out of Summit After Realizing It Was Not Invited
The 14-member delegation had attended three days of the Varenne Forum on Regional Cooperation, co-sponsored two working papers, and been served 211 cups of coffee before checking the guest list.