Satire Notice

The Continental Reporter is a work of satire. Names, quotes, institutions, and events are fictional.

All content published on this website, including news reports, columns, letters to the editor, reader panels, corrections, headlines, bylines, and datelines, is satirical fiction written for the purpose of commentary and entertainment. The persons quoted or described are fictional characters. The institutions, agencies, studies, surveys, polls, and statistics referenced are invented. Where a real place is named, it is named as a setting only, and no event described as occurring there has occurred. Where a real public figure or public event is referenced, it is the subject of commentary, not a source: any words, actions, or circumstances attributed to it on this website are invented and exaggerated for comic effect and are not factual claims.

Nothing on this website is a factual report of any event, a statement by any real person, or advice of any kind, including legal, financial, medical, safety, or civic advice. Readers should not rely on any content published here for any purpose other than amusement.

The Continental Reporter is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or associated with any news organization, wire service, government body, or other entity. The Continental Press Service (CPS) is a fictional wire service and does not exist.

Pages on this site are marked as satire in their structured data (schema.org SatiricalArticle) so that search engines and other automated systems can identify them as such.

Questions about this notice may be directed to the address listed on the Contact page.