Folks.
I have now watched the government’s new television spot, the one set to a song whose chorus repeats the words “love me,” 212 times. I watched it on my television, on my phone, and twice on the little screen at the gas pump, which, at $4.37 a gallon, is now the most expensive movie theater in America, and worth every penny.
It is the greatest film ever made. I don’t say that lightly. I have seen “Patton.” I have seen “Rocky IV” eleven times, and I have seen the part where the Russian falls down probably forty more. None of them asked me to love the man in them. This one asks. That’s courage.
My critics, and I have several, all of them in my extended family, point out that the ad says “Paid for by the U.S. Government” at the bottom, and that it used to say “Paid for by Donald J. Trump for President 2024, Inc.” They think this is a gotcha. Folks, think about it. Who is the U.S. Government? You are. I am. Tammy is. So the ad was paid for by me, which means it’s my ad, which means it’s an ad of me, telling him, through his own face, that I love him. That’s not taxpayer money. That’s a greeting card.
I’m told one of these spots has cost about $920,000 in airtime so far. I’m told that like it’s bad news. “Titanic” cost $200 million and at the end of it nobody loved me. This one is thirty seconds. That’s $30,000 a second. The second where the words “largest tax cuts in history” come on the screen is the best $30,000 I have ever spent, and I once bought a boat.
Now, some people, including several senators from my own party, have said the ads are “inappropriate.” I will not name these senators. They’re on The List. Others point to a federal law that bars government money from being spent on “publicity or propaganda.” I haven’t read the law. My gut has, and my gut skims. And my gut tells me that propaganda is when the government tells you what to think. This ad doesn’t tell you what to think. It tells you what to feel. Totally different part of the body.
A movie that asks you to love the man in it, and then you do. That is not propaganda. That is a satisfied customer.
I watched the 212th viewing with Reagan, my eagle, who sat on the porch rail the whole time and did not look away once. Tammy says Reagan is a pigeon. Tammy says a lot of things. Reagan was moved. You could see it in the way he bobbed.
Tammy also asked me, during viewing 140, whether I’d ever noticed that the song was used without the songwriter’s permission. I told her the songwriter should be honored. Somebody finally loved his song enough to use it without asking. That’s the highest compliment in music. Ask any eagle.
THE LIST (things that are dead to me this week)
- The word “propaganda.”
- Senators with opinions.
- People who write songs and then expect to be asked.
- The mute button.
- The 2023 version of the ad, which said “Paid for by” the campaign. Too commercial. I prefer the public version. It’s more personal.
- A pelican I saw on vacation that looked at Reagan funny.
I’ll be watching viewing 213 tonight, after supper, with Tammy, who said she’ll “be in the other room,” which I take to mean she needs a moment.
And that’s the gut truth.