HOLLIS BEND, Wis. — The Hollis Bend Village Board voted 4-1 on Monday night to declare the village’s only roundabout “too European” and replace it with a four-way intersection at which right-of-way will be determined by argument, ending a two-hour, 38-minute debate that included one recess, one point of order, and a slideshow of the Arc de Triomphe.
The roundabout, at County Road J and Main Street, was completed in May 2024 at a cost of $1.1 million, most of it a state grant. It is 96 feet across and has a small island of decorative grasses in the center, which Trustee Gus Pfannenstiel said during the debate “look like they belong in a different country, and that country is France.”
“You go around and around and nobody ever stops. That’s not driving. That’s a philosophy,” Pfannenstiel said. Trustee Marcy Dahlquist, the lone vote against the measure, said the roundabout had cut the average wait at the intersection to four seconds and asked what would replace it. Board President Arlene Boettcher then recognized Trustee Len Oberholtzer, who moved the adoption of Ordinance 26-114, the Intersection Discourse Act.
Under the ordinance, drivers arriving at the new intersection will stop, lower their windows, and argue for the right to proceed, with each driver allotted 90 seconds for an opening statement and 45 seconds for rebuttal. Right-of-way passes to the driver who, in the judgment of the other three drivers, has made the strongest case. A tie is broken by whoever has lived in Hollis Bend the longest, and a second tie by whoever’s father knew whose. The first argument under the new system, held at 7:02 a.m. Tuesday during a trial run with temporary signage, is still underway. Four drivers remain at the intersection. Two have reached closing arguments, one has been brought a sandwich by the Department of Public Works, and the fourth, a dairy truck, has asked to be allowed to make its case in writing.
Randall Kemper, 47, who lives on County Road J and spoke for 11 minutes during public comment, said the roundabout had been “fine, honestly,” but that he supported the change because “at least now you can explain yourself.” Kemper is the second driver at the intersection and told the board by phone that he expects to win on the merits.
Prof. Desmond Achterberg, who holds the Prewitt Chair in Comparative Annoyance at Ellery State University, said the dispute echoed one of the oldest conflicts in civil engineering. “The roundabout and the argument have been rivals since antiquity,” Achterberg said. “The Romans built the circle. Their neighbors, who had no circles, simply stood in the road and shouted until someone gave up. The scholarship suggests the shouting was more popular. I wrote the scholarship, so I would know.”
The board took a 14-minute recess at 8:21 p.m. after Oberholtzer asked whether the grasses could be kept “as a compromise,” a question Boettcher ruled out of order on the grounds that it sounded European.
Demolition of the roundabout is scheduled to begin in September, pending the conclusion of the argument now taking place in its place. The village clerk said Tuesday that a fifth driver had arrived at the intersection shortly after noon and had been informed that there were only four sides, and that he was currently arguing that point.