I Am Perfectly Calm About the New Grocery Store Layout
The cereal is next to the motor oil. The bread is where the cereal was. That is fine. Everything is fine.
Rick Halvorsen
Columnist · Perfectly Reasonable
Rick Halvorsen writes "Perfectly Reasonable," a weekly column about small things that are fine. He is calm.
Bylined archive
My Call Is Important to Them. They Have Told Me So 146 Times.
I spent three hours and 12 minutes on hold about a dishwasher, listening to a 14-second flute and a woman who insists she values me. I kept count, calmly.
By Rick Halvorsen ·
The Restaurant Asked Me to Scan the Menu. I Would Like a Menu.
Where the menu used to be, there was a small black-and-white square. I am told the square is the menu. I ordered the third thing, and I am handling this well.
By Rick Halvorsen ·
The Arrows in the Parking Lot Are Not Suggestions, and I Am the Only One Who Has Noticed
For 11 years I have driven the shopping center lot in the direction the pavement asks. Last Saturday a man in a sedan came the other way and waved. I am calm.
By Rick Halvorsen ·
The Self-Checkout Said ‘Unexpected Item,’ and I Will Not Be Expected
A machine at the hardware store accused me of putting something in the bagging area that it had not anticipated. It was a hinge. It had just watched me scan the hinge.
By Rick Halvorsen ·