White House Ballroom Ahead of Schedule, Now So Large It Contains the White House
Officials say the structure will be substantially finished by November, at which point the executive mansion will be relocated to a small table near the dance floor.
Glenn Whitacre
Senior National Correspondent
Glenn Whitacre has covered the nation for the Reporter for 26 years, most of them by phone. He is currently between locations.
Bylined archive
$110 Billion Studio Merger Closes; Combined Company’s First Act Is Merging Every Movie Into One Movie
The single film, which now contains both studios’ entire libraries playing at once, runs 11,400 hours and will satisfy a court-approved requirement of 30 theatrical releases a year by starting at 30 different points.
By Glenn Whitacre ·
I Reached Dr. Brickhouse by Phone. He Was in a Different Phone.
In 19 years of calling the nation’s most-quoted expert, I have never once found him anywhere else. Last week, I found out why.
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Nation’s Flag Shirts Now Outnumber Nation’s Flags, Continental Census Bureau Confirms
The bureau’s first full count of patriotic apparel found 3.4 shirts for every flag, a ratio officials described as still climbing.
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Institute for Common Sense Releases 400-Page Report Concluding Things Are ‘Fine, Mostly’
The report, 39 months in preparation, consists of a two-page executive summary, 397 pages of appendices, and one page of findings that reads, in full, ‘Fine, mostly.’
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Congress Funds Government 4 Weeks Early, Will Stage Historical Reenactment of Deadline on Sept. 30
With the stopgap signed into law Sept. 2, lawmakers have 28 days with nothing to be up against and have begun rehearsing, in period dress, the all-night session they no longer need.
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Washington Monument Finishes Fourth in National Mall Grand Prix, Supporters Say It Was Too Inspired to Stay Put
The 555-foot obelisk, which had not left its spot since 1884, completed all 147 laps of the street circuit established by executive order, stopping once to pit at the Ellipse.
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Airport’s New ‘DJT’ Code So Commanding That Flights Bound for Other Cities Have Begun Landing There Out of Respect, Supporters Say
Since Tuesday’s switch from PBI, supporters have counted 1,140 diverted flights, including one that was already parked at a gate in Ohio.
By Glenn Whitacre ·
I Was Asked to Attend a Meeting in Person. I Got as Close as the Lobby Phone.
For the first time since a date that keeps moving further back, the Reporter asked me to come into the newsroom. I made it to within 40 feet of the conference room.
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Man Who Skipped Every Meeting Demands to Be Included in Decision
Keith Larrabee declined all 37 invitations to a 14-month coffee machine selection process, then sent a reply-all to 212 colleagues asking why no one had asked him.
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Department of War Relieves 3,100 Office Chairs of Command After Anti-Woke Review Finds Them ‘Too Supportive’
The chairs, cited for reclining, lumbar support, and swiveling toward more than one point of view, are the first furniture removed under a review that has since expanded to the color beige and the word ‘please.’
By Glenn Whitacre ·
FIFA, Pleased With First Final Halftime Show, Says 2030 Final Will Be Played at Halftime of the Halftime Show
Officials called Sunday’s show at MetLife Stadium a success and said the 120 minutes of soccer surrounding it had been ‘a lot to ask of an audience that came for the show.’
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Nation Turns 250 Before Finishing Saying ‘Semiquincentennial’
An estimated 61.3 percent of attempts to pronounce the seven-syllable word, many begun on Jan. 1, were still in progress when the anniversary passed, most of them stalled on the ‘quin.’
By Glenn Whitacre ·
Federal Panel Votes 5-4 to Rename Tuesday After Concerns It Sounds Foreign
The Calendar Heritage Review Panel spent 11 hours on the matter before discovering that the meeting was itself being held on a Tuesday.
By Glenn Whitacre ·